At first glimpse of this title one might suspect this to be mostly about a mommy and her baby's bedtime schedule. It is not. Bedtime tyranny began long before the blessing of motherhood. You see, sleep . . . which used to be considered beauty rest (pre-baby) . . . is very important to me. Unfortunately, I was not a natural born morning ray of sunshine. That is something I have to work very hard at . . . I have come a long way on this journey, but I am still a work in progress. You see, motherhood has helped me along or more like catapulted me into the mornings, taking my morning time personality from grouchy and growling to pop up and let's get rolling but still don't talk to me. Here's the thing. . . I not only need my coffee, but I have to have a firm 30 minute talk with the Lord on how His SON will shine through me because without that talk. . . well, it's a pretty rocky ride when I try to navigate alone.
While I work on being on morning person and have successfully moved up in the levels as far as that is concerned. . . bedtime is a whole different thang, yes thang. I admit I am not the easiest bed partner. I start getting ready for bed as the credits roll after Wheel. . . Wheel of Fortune. . . yes, I watch that. I know there is a little elderly lady inside me running this soon to be 30 year old. All major, bright lights are OUT, only nice lamps that put off just enough light that make you want to relax. The TV gets turned down, no loud noises. Just easing into nighttime like 2 pieces of 600 thread count sheets being rubbed together.
Speaking of thread count, this is the part where it gets tricky. . . the bed clothes. I like the bed to be made before I get in it. I like the blanket corners to match up with the sheet corners. That is absolutely NOT negotiable. There has to be one long pillow for me to "ride" also known as the "riding pillow". It sounds silly as all get out, but I tell you this. . . that riding pillow will take me to sleepytown and there is nothing silly about that! Rest is important, people. And one short pillow for my head preferably a squishy one. . . the kind where you sink into it a little. There can not be a single grain of sand, crumb, tiniest piece of anything in the bed, big negative on that. No lights. . . not even the light on the TV. If the ceiling fan is not the kind with some good zip in it (and I mean the kind that when it gets going on full speed you think it may lift the room into flight) then I will need a box type fan. This is for 2 reasons. One being that sometimes our dog might get lonely and decides to howl all night and the fan puts off just enough noise so that you can not hear that mess or any other mess that might occur in the night and interrupt my resting cycle. Secondly, the fan puts off the nicest wind and makes you want to pull that perfectly aligned sheet and blanket up around you and get snug.
All of this is good and fine and I don't think there is a thing wrong with it (even though some might think it a tad bit OCD). But there is another person involved. . . namely Husband. Husband throws caution to the wind in the line of matching the blanket to the sheet so if he finds himself in bed before me and I come to join him and it looks like a big fat mess. . . well, it is not the best discussion one could hope for in a marriage. I know the whole thing about how you should pick your battles. Trust me, I know it. This is the one I want to have. Remember, I said sleep is important. We have been bed partners for over 3 years now and one would think that he would know the bedtime bylaws and how important it is to the happiness for all involved to get it right. So after I have laid down the law and Husband is in compliance. . . well, as much of compliance as can be expected from a 6'2" fella in a queen sized bed. Staying on "his side" is not even an option. . . the only place I have managed to give some wiggle room in the bedtime bylaws. (I'm not OCD afterall.)
While I work on being on morning person and have successfully moved up in the levels as far as that is concerned. . . bedtime is a whole different thang, yes thang. I admit I am not the easiest bed partner. I start getting ready for bed as the credits roll after Wheel. . . Wheel of Fortune. . . yes, I watch that. I know there is a little elderly lady inside me running this soon to be 30 year old. All major, bright lights are OUT, only nice lamps that put off just enough light that make you want to relax. The TV gets turned down, no loud noises. Just easing into nighttime like 2 pieces of 600 thread count sheets being rubbed together.
Speaking of thread count, this is the part where it gets tricky. . . the bed clothes. I like the bed to be made before I get in it. I like the blanket corners to match up with the sheet corners. That is absolutely NOT negotiable. There has to be one long pillow for me to "ride" also known as the "riding pillow". It sounds silly as all get out, but I tell you this. . . that riding pillow will take me to sleepytown and there is nothing silly about that! Rest is important, people. And one short pillow for my head preferably a squishy one. . . the kind where you sink into it a little. There can not be a single grain of sand, crumb, tiniest piece of anything in the bed, big negative on that. No lights. . . not even the light on the TV. If the ceiling fan is not the kind with some good zip in it (and I mean the kind that when it gets going on full speed you think it may lift the room into flight) then I will need a box type fan. This is for 2 reasons. One being that sometimes our dog might get lonely and decides to howl all night and the fan puts off just enough noise so that you can not hear that mess or any other mess that might occur in the night and interrupt my resting cycle. Secondly, the fan puts off the nicest wind and makes you want to pull that perfectly aligned sheet and blanket up around you and get snug.
All of this is good and fine and I don't think there is a thing wrong with it (even though some might think it a tad bit OCD). But there is another person involved. . . namely Husband. Husband throws caution to the wind in the line of matching the blanket to the sheet so if he finds himself in bed before me and I come to join him and it looks like a big fat mess. . . well, it is not the best discussion one could hope for in a marriage. I know the whole thing about how you should pick your battles. Trust me, I know it. This is the one I want to have. Remember, I said sleep is important. We have been bed partners for over 3 years now and one would think that he would know the bedtime bylaws and how important it is to the happiness for all involved to get it right. So after I have laid down the law and Husband is in compliance. . . well, as much of compliance as can be expected from a 6'2" fella in a queen sized bed. Staying on "his side" is not even an option. . . the only place I have managed to give some wiggle room in the bedtime bylaws. (I'm not OCD afterall.)
As I snuggle myself into my perfectly made bed and rub my feet around feeling the soft sheets. . . wait is that a grain of sand? Nope, we're good. Night, night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bug bite
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