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I don't mind waking up at 5:45 to a little hand on my face and a sweet little voice saying "book". I have somehow slowly turned into that morning person that I had longed to be (almost unimaginable). Up early even before Lance some days (few, but still). Lakyn and I are often up singing, dancing, reading books, getting our day on well before 7am. I'm more than okay with that. I look over at her now swinging her Rapunzel doll around her pretend dance floor and my heart feels like it is going to explode... just so full of joy and love for this tiny little being that I was blessed to have grown in my belly (whaaaaaaaat...). 

But notice how this story began.... that child has somehow found her way into sleeping in the bed with me. And yes I say me because she and I sleep in our extra bed while Lance gets a bed and a full night's rest all to himself (just a tiny bit jealous? possibly) How did this happen, I ask myself? We started out with her sleeping in her own bed so where did we go wrong? Well, there was this sickness, teething, earaches, bad weather and maybe a time or two that I heard something outside and just wanted her close... you know, safe in the bed with us. It has been suggested to me to put her in her bed and let her cry. I tried it... once... for a few seconds. I just can't do it. Everything in my whole body literally won't allow it.  

Please, be advised that I am in no way stating that the baby in the bed is wrong or that letting them cry it out is wrong either. What I am saying is that neither of those things are working for us. In a previous post labeled "Bedtime Tyranny", I explained how important sleep is to me and let me just say that all of those bedtime bylaws have gone out the window completely as there is no way to communicate that important information to my one year old. I am lucky at this point to have a pillow and a blanket.  Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling and sleeping with Lakyn up until she turns sideways and proceeds to kick me all night. I wrongly imagined that I would be getting sufficient rest at this point. Am I again having unrealistic expectations? Will a full night's rest elude me until our children (assuming we may possibly have another) have graduated highschool and have moved to college? Or will I sit up at night even then worrying over them (again assuming we may have another)? While my mornings are somehow joyful (praise Jesus!), the nights are still full of wake ups, disrupts, sit ups, leg ups, just up when one should be resting peacefully and 




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